Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happy Meals

It’s incredible how too much involvement in the election has put me into political hibernation. Although interning at a Victory office put me in closer quarters with candidates and their campaigns, and while this certainly helped me form strong opinions that guided my votes, I was far too tired to write an essay about it when I got home each night. I grew quiet and complacent over the last few months, so much so that I didn’t even notice my own sort of indifference.

But at 7:45am this Thursday, November 5th, 2010, I was rudely awakened from my intellectual slumber when the DJs on country radio told me that San Francisco had voted to ban Happy Meals. I was livid.

I don’t even like McDonald’s. I don’t remember the last time I set foot into a McDonald’s. It is not because of my secret affinity for McNuggets or McFlurries or McGrease that I grew so enraged as the report continued, but rather the way no one thought it was a big deal.

The government has literally begun telling us what we can and cannot eat, and no one cares. We used to use the “food choice” example as a ridiculous hyperbole of potential government control, but here it is, real and alive and being implemented in what I’m sure is just the first of many US cities. The DJs and their guest callers alike seemed to think it was great that the city was stepping in on behalf of our children, and it was about time someone called out the fast food industry on the criminal unhealthiness of their food for kids, and how noble of them to be watching out for the welfare of the youth of America.

Oh, but see, the last time I checked, all of that was supposed to be a parent’s job. If the government has to jump in and slap French fries out of your kid’s fat hand, there are probably some deeper parenting problems you need to deal with, and it’s time for some personal responsibility. Is there absolutely no accountability in the world anymore? And since when does the government have any right to infringe this heavily upon private industry? And it’s not as though we’re being mislead. Fast food moguls aren’t concocting magic fatty sodium juices to inject into apples and sell as organic produce that will stealthily clog our arteries. Consumers are perfectly aware that the food is not particularly good for them. It has been incredibly well publicized. But they’re choosing to eat it anyway, and why theirs may not be a lifestyle the legislators of San Francisco look too fondly upon, they have every right to live it.

The law states that any meal to be served with a toy must not have more than 600 calories, 640 milligrams of sodium, and no more than 35% of its calories may come from fat. The meal must also include at least half a cup of fruit or three quarters of a cup of vegetables.

I’m not disagreeing that kids should eat healthier food, but it’s not the government’s job to make them do so. And frankly, I’m not entirely convinced that some of the public school lunches I had as a kid would have met these standards, and those were government-funded. The issue here is bigger than Happy Meals, it’s about our freedom of choice, our right to live how we want to, and the government staying out of it. What I choose to feed myself is a pretty intimate decision, and, thanks but no thanks, I don’t want to live in such close quarters with my public officials.

Hey government! Get out of my drive-thru. You’re holding up the line.